Week # 15: Giving Thanks

The older I get the more I realize I am turning into my mother and the more I am actually okay with it!  My mom, Lynne, is by no means perfect, but she is a very kind, warm, creative and fiercely independent woman.  Most importantly my mom has always loved me with 110% of her heart.  I have never for a second doubted that I am loved or cared for, which I know is something I am extremely grateful for.

My mom is a bit eccentric.  After my parents divorced when I was 9 we moved into a much smaller house in the rougher part of Menifee.  She poured herself into turning our tiny 2 bedroom house with a large overgrown backyard into a home.  My mom taught me that what makes a house a home or really what makes anything worthwhile is hard work, creativity, and passion. 

Our backyard turned from a bunch of weeds, glass, gravel, and an abandoned washing machine into a whimsical wonderland full of fun cement creatures and creations.  I always felt proud of our house.  It was not the biggest, or the best, but we (my mom and I) made it our own.  I am not afraid to try new things directly because of my mom and the freedom she gave me.  When I was 16 and wanted to redo my room she let me do whatever I wanted, including learning how to cut and install tile. 

When I was 11 and missed having a pool, my mom found a used above ground pool.  She bought the supplies and the pump, but I had to level the ground.  I learned how to use a line a water to level and the amount of work I did to install and maintain our small above ground pool made me feel even more accomplished. 

I am so grateful that my mom lives close by, and even though she is not in the best of health (she is 71 and smokes about 2 packs a day) I am able to spend time with her at least once a week. 

Word Count: 351

Week # 14: Issue you are passionate about

I am pretty passionate about teachers not inserting their personal political and religious views into their class, which makes this topic tricky for me.  There are controversial topics I am passionate about, but I want everyone to feel safe with their own opinions.  So I am going to discuss why I think it is important to try and remain objective as an educator.  I think the main reason I don't want to share my beliefs or political views is because I want my classroom to be a safe space for my students to be able to express themselves.  I don't want them to ever feel that if they believed something different than me, I would judge them harshly.  I also feel that taking my belief system and politics out of the equation allows student voices to shine.  This does not mean I won't point out potential logical flaws.  For example, it will be hard for me to not want to discuss scientific evidence with a student who claims that the earth is flat in an essay.

Some educators would argue that by trying to keep myself objective and hiding these parts of my personality students are not exposed to different views and that I am not making my own bias clear.  In all reality I am sure that some of my bias' are clear just by what I say and what I do.  I am human and it is hard to be completely objective.  There are also beliefs I have that I will be the first to acknowledge I have no logical reason behind them.  For example I am against the death penalty, mostly because the thought of state sanctioned execution makes me feel a bit ill.  I still cannot watch any execution on TV or in a movie.  I have to cover my eyes when we watch the hanging section part of Capote.  In this case it is purely my feeling and I can see the logic and validity of someone who believes different than me.  Just personally if I can't even stomach the idea of it in fiction I don't know how I can support it in reality?  I share this about myself because I know my reason is illogical and I doubt my reason for being anti-capital punishment will sway anyone in any direction.  

Word Count: 387

Week # 13: Myers Briggs 16 Personalities and my book

I have taken the Myers Briggs personality test several times and I always get INFJ as my personality type.  Today I took the 16 personalities version of the MBTI test to make sure I was still the same and I got INFJ- T.  When I looked over the traits of a T (turbulent) vs. an A (assertive) INFJ, I became a bit discouraged.  Basically Ts are more insecure than As which in turn has some negative impacts.  Of course I want to be an A, but I also know that I still struggle with some insecurities (who doesn't?).

What is unique about INFJs is that they are the rarest personality type (only 1% of the population are INJFs).  Some strengths of INFJs are that they are creative, insightful, inspiring, decisive, determined and altruistic.  I feel comfortable and confident saying that I am creative, insightful, determined and altruistic, but I don't think I am inspiring or decisive.  Maybe this is where the T from my INJF- T comes in?  If I was more confident and self assured perhaps I would feel differently?  The weaknesses of INFJs are that they are sensitive, extremely private, perfectionistic, always need to have a cause, and can burn out easily.  I can see all of these weaknesses in myself and I have to be really careful to look out for them.  I have gotten better about being sensitive and extremely private.  I used to be the high schooler that would cry over low tests scores, had to had straight As and based my self worth on  my GPA.  I like to think I have grown past this but the urge is still there.  I am taking some classes at CSUF and I do find myself checking my grades a bit compulsively. 

I just finished re-reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, by Betty Smith.  I feel that the character in the novel that is most like an INFJ is the main character Francie.  Francie like INFJs is an introverted deep thinker.  She spends most of her childhood reading and even tried to read every book in her local library in alphabetical order.  Francie is also very determined.  Her mother decides to have her bother finish high school instead of her because she knows that Francie will find a way to finish.  This ends up being true.  

I think that Francie does not show the altruism that is typical of an INFJ.  Francie cares about knowledge and learning for her own benefit and there does not seem to be a higher purpose behind it.  I completely relate to Francie's love of reading and use of reading as an escape when she is experiencing hardship.  I feel that Francie cares more about knowledge for knowledge sake than I do.  I love learning but if I don't see a greater purpose behind it, it hard for me to stay dedicated.  For example I could never have the patience to read every book in a library in alphabetical order.  

Word Count: 498