Week # 6: Capote

My first thought about the movie Capote is that it is about some deeply flawed human beings both the two criminals and Capote himself.  Capote uses his fame to weasel his way into the lives of the people of Holcomb and the criminal's live himself.  He appears to be there for them and has empathy but is doing so only for his own gain.  He uses the pain of especially Perry to entertain his friends.  It seems like a sick experiment and from what I know about Capote's life after publishing In Cold Blood, I think Capote paid for it with extreme guilt.  

Both Dick and Perry are also deeply flawed.  They committed a horrible murder and end up paying for it with their lives.  It makes me wonder about human nature.  How can people cause each other so much pain and for what?  Money? Fame? Fortune?  Is this the natural consequence of society measuring success in terms of fame and fortune over contributing to the good of humanity?  

I finished reading Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI.  Both this novel and the movie Capote are about true crime and a person's journey uncovering the reason why the murders occurred.  In Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI the motivation was greed.  I have read the novel In Cold Blood a few times.  I think one of the motivations was greed but I would not argue it was the main motivation for either Perry Smith or Dick Hickock.  

Word Count: 263

Week # 5: Quote that speaks to you

“Wisdom cannot be imparted. Wisdom that a wise man attempts to impart always sounds like foolishness to someone else ... Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it.” 

― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

The reason this quote resonated with me was because of a podcast I listened to this week.  The episode was You 2.0 Decide Already by NPR's Hidden Brain.  Basically, we learn that humans are the only animal that can use their imaginations to predict the future, and guess what we are terrible at it!  Often what we predict will happen and what actually happens is completely different.  As I was listening to this episode I kept on thinking both how right this premise is and also how I would not be able to understand the ideas presented in this podcast at the same level a few years ago.  I feel that I have enough experience at this point to realize that things do not end up as bad as I predict and are not worth the worry I put into them.  Applying this wisdom in real life is another challenge.

It feels liberating to know that there are scientific studies out that that prove humans suck at predicting their own futures.  I have a tendency to try and overthink a problem in hopes that all that energy will allow me to "out think it."  Instead of actually solving the problem, I end up creating additional fictional problems and what if scenarios that add to the problem.  The only thing thathelps when a worrisome situation comes to fruition is just being present in the moment and dealing with things as they come.  

Word Count (not including the quote): 277

Week # 4: It's all about the plot

So far in my book, Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI, the plot is going slow but I feel like it is going fast.  At this point I think over six Osage Indians have been murdered.  A few were shot in the head, two were blown up in their house, and some were poisoned.  There are some vivid gory details explaining the state of the bodies, which made me second guess reading this before falling asleep.  Despite the gore, I have been nightmare free so I will probably continue to read this before bed.  

The plot itself is slow because there is not much progressing on the case itself other than Tom White, a former Texas Ranger, was put in charge by the F.B.I.  The last 40 pages or so have been about the history of Tom White.  Tom's life is so interesting and full of action that it feels like the book's plot is progressing when it is not.  Tom's dad was the sheriff of Austin, Texas and their house was literally attached to the jail.  Tom witnessed a lot of action in his childhood, including his first hanging at the age of 11 (I think).  Tom's  but I am learning so much about Tom White and his background that it feels like the plot is going faster than in reality.  

Word Count: 232

Week # 3: Character(s) and Setting

I am currently reading Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI  by David Grann.  Fun fact about this non-fiction novel is that it is currently the number one seller on Amazon in books on Native American History.  Normally I am not a huge fan of non-fiction, but sometimes a true story reads like fiction.

I found the setting of this novel, both the time (1920's) and the place (Osage Indian Reservation in Oklahoma) compelling mostly because they both are beyond my current reality.  In the 1870's the Osage tribe made a smart move when forced to buy land from the US government to form their reservation; they kept all the rights to mineral and oil deposits.  This later made the Osage Indians very rich despite their lower social status.  The contrast of the restriction of reservation life and the forced assimilation of the Osage people with their abundant wealth makes for a story that is a vignette about a unique time, place, and people.  Despite their wealth the novel depicts the Osage reservation as mostly empty space with few stores or towns for that matter.  The one brick building was the School in the capital of the Osage nation that was used by the U.S. government to force assimilate the Osage children.  This cold, stark, imposing, brick building standing out in the middle of the main town is a apt metaphor of the relationship between U.S. government and the Native Americans.  Both the this building and the U.S. government obviously do not fit in with the surrounding environment and culture but are there as an act of defiance.   

Word Count: 278

Week # 2: Vulnerability and Writing

I feel that my writing ability is above the average American adult.  I am particularly proud of my ability to craft an email that conveys both my message and my tone accurately.  We all have our talents right? However, when I compare myself to some of my peers with my same level education, I still feel a bit inadequate.  I enjoy writing and I feel that I am able to get my thoughts on the page with relative ease.  I think a trick with writing is to know that there is always room for improvement and not take your "areas of growth" personally.

I am not as self conscious about the flaws, my tendency to misspell words, or favoring certain words or phrases, until I am reluctantly forced to share my writing with my peers or students for that matter.  Part of the problem is that writing hits a sore spot for me.

I am a terrible speller.  I have vivid memories of failing pre-spelling tests in elementary school, my peers telling me I was dumb, coming home crying, and then my mom drilling me for hours on the week's spelling words.  I would ace the spelling test on Friday and then later forget the spelling of the words.  My spelling has improved significantly since then, but it will always be a weak point.  I will always get a little extra anxious about my spelling when I write something on the whiteboard, but I will endure. 

I share this because everyone has their "thing" that is a weak point and source of insecurity.  Unfortunately, for a lot of people it has to do with public speaking or writing.  The harsh truth is that the only way you are going to get better at anything is by just going for it and trying your best to ignore your own insecurities. I know how scary it was for me to decide that I wanted to be "good" at English even though it did not match my strengths.  Every time I gave my high school teachers one of my essays I felt so exposed and afraid.  Besides being stubborn, what helped me was to know that my sophomore honors English teacher was a terrible speller too.  He was so confident about his own intelligence, writing, and ability to communicate, that it made me feel that there was hope for me to improve my writing as well. We all have areas to improve and the truth is there is no perfect writer.  All writers work on improving their craft.  It is up to us to only compare ourselves to ourselves.

(Word Count: 436)

The Week in Review # 1

Reading is an escape for me. Looking back the trigger for me becoming a "reader" was my parent's divorce when I was in the fourth grade. I remember checking out Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes from my school library and reading it over and over again.  I think reading how Sadako was able to face the harsh reality of her leukemia and eventual death by creating a new goal for herself, made my own struggle seem so small.  Reading that book gave me a healthier perspective on how to face challenges, setbacks, and suffering with grace.  Of course I do not think I was that deep at in the forth grade, but I do remember thinking about Sadako every time I was really down in elementary school.  

You would think that someone who reads to escape reality would love science fiction and fantasy. I am all for Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Dune etc., but my true love is literary fiction that depicts the sometimes harsh reality of human existence.

I am also an insomniac so several nights a week I wake up and read until I am able to go back to sleep. I usually read a non-fiction and fiction book at the same time. The non-fiction book usually puts me to sleep in 20-30 minutes, while I can read the fiction book all day if I am in the mood. There have been several nights I have not slept much at all because I just want to finish the next chapter of the novel. Currently, I am reading Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng and it is hard to pull myself away.

I do not have favorite books, but I do have a few favorite authors. I have a soft spot for John Steinbeck. I love both East of Eden and The Grapes of Wrath. My two favorite authors that are currently alive are Neil Gaiman and Barbara Kingsolver. I love the magical realism, hint of darkness, and purity in Gaiman's writing. Kingsolver is a feminist, master gardener, poet/author, and has a background in biology. What is not to love about her?

My independent reading choice will depend on my mood and if I finish Little Fires Everywhere before we officially start. I have both The Killers of The Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI and Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis on my list of books to read.